On Wanting Nothing

When Someone Says They Never Asked to Exist

A while ago, I received a comment on one of my TikTok videos that stayed with me:

“I never asked for life so there’s nothing I want. Non-existence I prefer.”

At first glance, it’s confronting. Heavy. Honest in a way that stops you mid-scroll and instead of responding quickly or defensively, I sat with it, because comments like this don’t come from nowhere - they come from exhaustion.

From someone who has been carrying life rather than living it. 
From a nervous system that has learned that wanting hurts, hoping disappoints and checking out feels safer than engaging.

What struck me most wasn’t the preference for non-existence. It was the absence of desire.
“There’s nothing I want.”

That sentence alone tells a story of disconnection. When life becomes something that happens to you rather than with you, it makes sense that opting out feels appealing. Not because someone truly wants to disappear, but because they want relief from the weight of being.

Many of us were never taught how to be here. 
We were taught how to perform, endure, survive, push through, but not how to rest inside our own experience. Not how to listen to ourselves without judgement. Not how to want gently, without pressure or expectation.
So, desire shuts down. Presence fades. Life becomes something to tolerate.

As a life coach, I don’t see comments like this as “negative” or “wrong.” I see them as signals. Invitations to look deeper. Reminders that beneath apathy is often grief - grief for a life that never felt safe, spacious or truly chosen.

Here’s something I believe deeply:
You don’t have to want a big life to stay.
You don’t have to be grateful.
You don’t even have to know why you’re here.

Sometimes the work is much smaller.
Sometimes it’s just learning how to stay with one moment without trying to escape it. One breath, one sensation, one tiny preference - warm tea, sunlight through a window, a song that doesn’t demand anything from you.

Wanting doesn’t begin with purpose.
It begins with permission.

Permission to feel without fixing.
Permission to exist without justification.
Permission to be here, even if you never asked to be.

If you’re reading this and that comment feels uncomfortably familiar, please know this: the part of you that prefers non-existence is not broken. It’s tired and tired parts don’t need convincing - they need care.

You don’t have to figure out life today.
You just have to stay long enough for the moment to soften.

If staying feels like too much, reaching out - to a trusted person, a coach or a mental health professional - is not a failure. It’s a form of self-respect.

Life may not have asked for your consent, but you still deserve gentleness while you’re here.

With you on the journey,
– Storm Reagan
Life Coach | Lived Experience Guide