Through New Eyes

Seeing Differently: The Emotional Journey After My Cataract Surgery

Before I had cataract removal and lens replacement surgery, I thought I understood what the journey would be like. Cataracts were clouding my sight, surgery would remove them and the new lenses would let me see clearly again. A straightforward fix - or so I thought.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional upheaval of suddenly seeing the world in a completely different way.

Losing the Vision I Was Used To

Before surgery, my sight was imperfect, yes - but I had adapted to it. My distance vision wasn’t great, but my near vision was surprisingly good. Cataracts had made me more nearsighted, which meant I could read labels on bottles in the bath, apply makeup easily and check my phone without even thinking about glasses.

In fact, I rarely wore glasses at all.
I only used them when I knew I’d be working an 8-hour day on my laptop. My prescription was mainly for my right eye, which had gotten worse than the left, and even then the glasses were more for comfort - they had a blue filter to reduce strain during long screen sessions.

Outside of those long workdays, I lived my life without glasses, without much thought and without struggle.

And then… everything changed.

After surgery, my distance vision improved - but my close vision vanished. Suddenly:

• My phone screen was a blur

• My laptop felt impossible

• Bathroom labels were unreadable

• Makeup application required an enlarging, lighted mirror

• Everyday tasks became dependent on glasses

I went from someone who almost never needed glasses… to someone who must wear them permanently for anything close.

It felt like a piece of my independence disappeared overnight.

The Grief Nobody Warns You About

What surprised me most wasn’t the physical change - it was the emotional one.

I found myself grieving.
Yes, grieving.

Not the surgery itself, but the version of vision I used to have. The effortless near vision. The freedom of not needing glasses. The familiarity of seeing my face clearly without magnification. The small comforts that made daily life feel easy.

Even though that vision was distorted and caused by cataracts, it was mine - and losing it hurt.

The Fear: Did I Make the Wrong Decision?

More than once, I’ve thought:

“Why did I do this?
I saw better before.
This feels worse.
Did I ruin my own vision?”

These thoughts are human and they come from fear, not reality.
Because the truth is simple: not removing cataracts is dangerous.

And in my case, cataracts were progressing even faster because of my autoimmune disease. It wasn’t something I could ignore or delay. The surgery wasn’t just an option - it was necessary to protect my long-term vision.

What Happens When Cataracts Aren’t Removed?

Cataracts don’t stay mild. They keep progressing, and over time they can cause:

• Severe, permanent vision loss

• Disabling glare and halos

• Washed-out, yellowed colours

• Difficulty driving, especially at night

• Double vision and distorted shapes

• Increased risk of falls and injuries

• Chronic inflammation inside the eye

• A “hyper-mature” cataract that becomes extremely difficult and risky to remove

• In advanced cases, irreversible blindness

So even though I emotionally miss what I had before, I logically know that cataract removal and lens replacement surgery was the right decision for protecting my long-term vision and my independence.

The Mental Load of Recovery

What no one prepared me for was how mentally challenging this adjustment would be.

Now I need:

• reading glasses for every up-close task

• special magnifying mirrors to see my own face well enough for skincare or makeup

• better lighting

• patience

• and a new routine for almost everything I once did effortlessly

It’s not just a physical transition - it’s a psychological one.
It’s relearning how to see myself, literally and emotionally.

Healing Is More Than Physical

I’m still healing and not just my eyes. My mind is healing too.

There’s a real mental health component to all of this.
Sudden changes in vision can bring on:

• anxiety

• frustration

• dips in self-esteem

• fear of losing independence

• moments of sadness

• and a sense of being suddenly “different” in your own body

When vision changes, even when it’s medically necessary, it can feel destabilizing. It touches everything - how you work, how you move, how you care for yourself, how you connect with others.

I’ve had days where I felt overwhelmed by how much I now rely on tools just to do simple things. Days where reading glasses felt like a symbol of something I lost rather than something that helps me. Days where my reflection in the mirror didn’t feel like mine, because I needed magnification just to see myself clearly.

And I’ve learned something important:
mental health deserves just as much care and gentleness as the eyes themselves.

Change - especially sudden change - can be emotionally heavy. It’s okay to feel everything you feel. It’s okay to take time. It’s okay to ask for support and it’s okay to admit that healing is as much about the mind as it is about the body.

Moving Forward

I didn’t expect this emotional rollercoaster, but I’m learning that restoring vision isn’t only about the eyes - it’s about identity, confidence, daily habits and the small ways we interact with the world.

And if you’re going through something similar, wondering why you feel overwhelmed, sad or even regretful after surgery, please know this:

You’re not alone.
Your feelings make sense.
And healing doesn’t unfold in a neat, predictable path.

But here’s the part I remind myself of every day:

Even if the journey looks different than I imagined, I am still moving forward.
I am still adapting.
I am still learning to trust my eyes - and myself - again.

And with time, patience and compassion (especially for myself), I’m finding new ways to see the world… and new ways to see me.

With you on the journey,
– Storm Reagan
Life Coach | Lived Experience Guide