Trust Your Experience

Your Hesitation Has History

After a coaching session a few months ago, I found myself sitting with a truth that so many people carry, but rarely name out loud: most of what we label as “trust issues” isn’t about mistrust at all. It’s about history. It’s about insight earned the hard way. My coachee wasn’t “broken”, “guarded” or “difficult” - they were simply someone who had learned to recognize patterns and protect their peace.

It reminded me how often we shame ourselves for the wisdom our experiences gave us. We’re quick to blame our hesitation, our boundaries and our pause - instead of honouring the fact that we learned these responses for a reason.

That conversation inspired this piece. If you’ve ever questioned whether your boundaries make you “too much” or wondered why your intuition gets louder around familiar behaviours, this is for you.

It’s Not Trust Issues - It’s Experience

People love to say, “You have trust issues", like it’s a flaw. Like any hesitation, boundary or pause means you’re broken or paranoid, but let’s be real: this isn’t about trust issues.

It’s about experience.
It’s about patterns.
It’s about surviving situations that taught you to pay attention - not just to what people say, but what they do.

You’ve Been Here Before

You’ve lived through the highs that felt like hope, only to crash into disappointment.
You’ve heard the apologies that were empty.
You’ve watched the same cycles repeat - no matter how many chances you gave, how much grace you offered or how much of yourself you poured in.

You don’t have trust issues. You have a memory and it’s sharp - for a reason. It’s not fear holding you back. It’s recognition.

You know what a boundary test looks like. You know how “just one message” can spiral into manipulation. You know how fast “I miss you” turns into chaos and when someone breaks no contact, your instinct to pause - to resist - isn’t coldness.

It’s protection. It’s your intuition saying: “We’re not doing this again.”

No Contact Isn’t a Game - It’s a Boundary

Going no contact isn’t about revenge or punishment.
It’s about peace. It’s about survival. It’s about drawing a line that says: My healing matters more than your comfort.

So, when someone tries to sneak back in with a “harmless” text or a casual check-in - that’s not innocent.
That’s a test and you already know how that story ends.

A crack leads to a flood, a text leads to guilt and a call leads to confusion.

You’ve seen it.
You’ve survived it.
You’ve earned the right to protect yourself.

You Don’t Owe Anyone a Re-Entrance

They might say you’re being harsh. That you’re closed off. That you’re holding a grudge. Let them talk.

You’re not being unforgiving - you’re being informed.
Every time you went back, you lost pieces of yourself trying to fix what wasn’t yours to fix.

Now? You’re holding onto those pieces.

Even if it hurts to say no. Even if it’s lonely at times. Even if part of you still wonders, “Maybe this time it’ll be different.”

That part of you used to think love meant endurance, but you’ve grown. You’ve learned and you’ve healed.

You’re not jaded - you’re clear.
You’re not bitter - you’re self-aware.

Stop Gaslighting Yourself

That voice that says, “Maybe I’m overreacting”?
It’s echoing old conditioning. Not your current reality.

You’re not being dramatic. You’re not “too much.”
You’re just finally listening to yourself and honouring what you know.

You’re not closing your heart. You’re just closing the door to what broke it.

The Truth About “Trust Issues”

People love to blame your boundaries for their discomfort.
They call it “trust issues” to avoid taking accountability, but trust isn’t just about them.

It’s about you trusting yourself, trusting your gut, your patterns and your progress and if your body says, “Don’t answer that message,” - trust it. If your soul says, “We’re done here,” - believe it.

You’re not overreacting.
You’re not unkind.
You’re not damaged.

You’re just no longer available for cycles that cost you your peace.

Final Word

This is experience.
This is wisdom.
This is boundaries.

And most of all - this is love.
Love for your future self.
Love for your healing.
Love for the life you’re building - one that doesn’t include the chaos you once called home.

Hold your boundary.
Honour your peace.
Trust your growth.

You know better now.

With you on the journey,
– Storm Reagan
Life Coach | Lived Experience Guide