The Weight of Projections

What We Carry That Isn't Ours: Understanding and Releasing Projections

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling heavy, even though nothing “bad” was said? Or found yourself doubting your worth after someone made a passing comment? Chances are, you’ve experienced projection.

What Is Projection?

Projection happens when someone unconsciously places their own fears, insecurities or unresolved issues onto you. Instead of dealing with what’s going on inside themselves, they hand it over for you to carry.

Think of it like this: a person holding a backpack full of unprocessed feelings suddenly sets it down in front of you and says, “This is yours now”, but here’s the truth - what’s inside that backpack was never yours to begin with.

Why We Take It On

As humans, we’re wired to want connection and belonging. When someone projects onto us - whether it’s criticism, judgment or even unrealistic expectations - our instinct can be to absorb it, believing it says something about our value.

I know this personally. In my own life, I’ve caught myself carrying other people’s projections as if they were proof of who I am. It took time (and practice) to realize: when I accept what isn’t mine, I move further away from my true self.

How to Handle Projections with Grace

We can’t stop people from projecting, but we can choose how to respond. Here are a few ways to navigate projections in a healthy way:

1. Pause Before Absorbing

Notice when something feels “off” in your body after an interaction. That discomfort might be a signal that what was handed to you isn’t yours.

2. Ask: “Does this belong to me?”

If the criticism, expectation or energy doesn’t align with who you are or what you value, let it go. You don’t have to carry it.

3. Set Gentle Boundaries

Sometimes a simple, calm response - “I hear you, but that doesn’t reflect who I am” - can stop the cycle of projection without creating conflict.

4. Return to Your Center

Reconnect with your truth through practices that ground you: journaling, meditation, talking with a trusted friend or simply spending quiet time with yourself.

Reclaiming Your Space

When we stop taking on what doesn’t belong to us, we create more space for what does: our joy, our growth and our authentic expression.

You are not responsible for carrying the unresolved pain of others. You are responsible for honouring yourself and choosing what you allow in and here’s the beautiful part: by doing this work, you don’t just free yourself - you show others that it’s possible to live lighter, more aligned and more fulfilled.