What You Suppress, Surfaces.

What You Keep Suppressing Will Eventually Find a Way Out

The emotional cost of holding everything in and why healing begins when we allow ourselves to feel.

There is a truth about life that we don't always want to acknowledge: What you continually suppress has to come out somewhere.

We live in a world where people are often praised for being strong. We are told to keep going, hold our heads high, stay positive and not allow our emotions to get the better of us.

So we learn to swallow our tears. We silence our frustrations, bury our disappointments and pretend we're okay when, deep down, we're falling apart.

We convince ourselves that if we don't talk about something, it will eventually disappear, but emotions don't simply disappear because we refuse to acknowledge them.

What happens when we keep everything inside?

Think of an untreated wound. When a wound isn't properly cleaned, cared for and allowed to heal, infection can develop beneath the surface.

Our emotional wounds can work in a similar way.

When we continually suppress pain, anger, grief, disappointment, fear or resentment, those emotions don't necessarily go away. They can build up and begin to affect other areas of our lives.

Eventually, what we haven't dealt with may start showing up in unexpected ways.

It might look like:

* Irritability over the smallest things.

* Crying without understanding why.

* Emotional exhaustion.

* Withdrawing from people we love.

* Becoming defensive when someone asks if we're okay.

* Struggling to communicate our feelings.

* Feeling overwhelmed by things we would normally manage.

* Experiencing resentment that we cannot quite explain.

Sometimes, the argument isn't really about the dishes left in the sink. It's about months of feeling unheard.

Sometimes, the tears aren't really about that one disappointing moment. They're about years of holding everything together.

Sometimes, the anger isn't really directed at the person standing in front of you. It's the accumulation of everything you've never allowed yourself to process.

The reaction may be happening today, but the pain may have started a long time ago.

Suppression is not the same as healing

There is a difference between managing your emotions and suppressing them.

Managing your emotions means acknowledging what you're feeling and choosing how to respond.

Suppressing your emotions means pushing them aside, pretending they aren't there or convincing yourself that you shouldn't feel what you're feeling. Instead of processing those emotions, you learn to live around them, hoping they will eventually disappear.

You can be strong and still cry. You can be a leader and still need someone to lead you through a difficult season. You can be the person everyone depends on and still need somewhere to fall apart safely.

You can have faith and still experience moments of sadness, frustration, uncertainty and pain.

Your emotions do not make you weak. They make you human.

Healing doesn't begin when you stop feeling. It begins when you stop running away from what you feel.

Give your emotions a healthy outlet

You don't have to unpack everything in one day. Healing is not a race and you don't have to force yourself to confront everything at once, but you do need to create space for what is happening inside you.

Start by:

1. Acknowledging what you feel.

Instead of automatically saying, "I'm fine," ask yourself, "Am I really okay?"

2. Allowing yourself to cry.

Tears are not a sign of weakness. Sometimes they are simply an expression of emotions you haven't found the words for.

3. Talking to someone you trust.

You don't always need someone to fix your problems. Sometimes you simply need someone who can listen without judging.

4. Writing it down.

Put your thoughts on paper. Sometimes writing gives a voice to feelings you struggle to express out loud.

5. Setting healthy boundaries.

You cannot continually pour from an emotionally depleted place. It is okay to say no, take a step back and prioritise your well-being.

6. Seeking professional support when needed.

Some wounds require more than time. There is no shame in seeking guidance from a qualified professional to help you process what you've been carrying.

Even the Bible reminds us that we can bring our emotions to God

In Psalm 62:8 (NLT), we are encouraged:

"Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge."

Notice those words: Pour out your heart.

The invitation is not hide it, pretend or package your pain into something presentable, but to pour it out.

God does not require you to approach Him pretending that everything is okay. You can come with your tears, your questions, your frustrations, your fears and your brokenness.

Sometimes the first step towards healing is simply being honest about where you are.

A little reflection: What have you been holding inside?

Perhaps you've become so accustomed to being strong that you've forgotten what it feels like to be vulnerable.

Maybe you've spent so much time taking care of everyone else that you've neglected yourself or you've convinced yourself that keeping quiet is keeping the peace, when in reality, it is costing you your own peace.

I want you to consider something:

What if the emotions you're trying so hard to suppress are actually asking you to pay attention to something that needs healing?

You cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

Unprocessed pain doesn't always stay where we put it. It can resurface in our reactions, relationships and the way we respond to the world around us.

Give yourself permission to feel and the space to speak about what you've been carrying.
Healing doesn't require you to have all the answers; it simply asks you to stop pretending that nothing needs attention.

A final thought 

You don't have to explode to prove that you've been hurting nor do you have to break down to justify needing help or reach your breaking point before giving yourself permission to heal.

Sometimes, the greatest act of strength is admitting:

"I'm not okay, and that's okay, but I don't want to keep carrying this."

Your healing matters. Your emotions matter and so do you.

With love and light,

– Storm Reagan
Life Coach | Lived Experience Guide